End Abuse? What to Say?

 السلام عليكم
 peace be upon you

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It can be tough to know what to say when someone confides in you about abuse in her life. Pakcik think, the best thing you can do is listen.

Don't ask "why did you let him hit you?"  or whatever abuse. 

"She didn't let him. he hit her! "

By saying that, you're telling her it's her fault that he hit her.

When she tells you she doesn't know what to do, ask her if she would like to talk to a counselor; And give her a number to call. Set up an appointment for her.

Pakcik suggest you to use the code for 'request for help'. Use the code the next time she is in trouble, or wants to talk or wants to leave. It can be something generic for sure like 

"i want to go to the bookstore".

It'll make it easier for her to broach the subject and a safe way to sound the alert if she needs urgent help.

There will be highs and low during intervention. On the days when you feel you can't cope anymore, just tell her. But dont forget to give her the number of counselling helpline. Tell her you're still there for her.

P/S : Give her options and never make her feel you're abandoning her.


Well..sometime pakcik also facing this problem. hehe..